The question I am most asked when teaching a writing class or even approached by someone at a book reading is “Where do you get your ideas?” to which I jump to paraphrase old Harlan Ellison’s usual reply to this query, “Well, there is a store down at the mall…” But, I stop myself, flash my dimples, and offer a version of, “Search your head and keep your eyes and ears open.”
When it comes to writing erotica, which is about 80% of my professional writing career, I also usually say, “Just let those fantasies loose.”
Easier said than done, of course.
First, even the most rabid would-be naughty scribbler might want to avoid thinking those thoughts, let alone writing them down! I mean, if you let this stuff out, won’t it mean that you are some pervert (yeah, so what?) or that you might get around to doing some of this naughty stuff you are writing about (again, yeah, so what?) Or, maybe it means … well not very much at all.
Maybe you just like to daydream, maybe you want to work out a scene or two in your writing so you can determine if you really do want to dress up like that lusty space robot and let the whole starship crew have their way with you.
Or, maybe you just need to write an erotic short story, an adult toy review, an article on the ten best ways to …
This then leads to the second most asked question about writing that I all too often hear, “So, how do you write?” To which I say, “You just start writing.” Just like Forrest Gump did when he just started “runnin’” — you just start.
Naughty stuff, a political screed, a recipe, an email — it all comes down to you.
Here are four more points to consider when it comes to writing erotica, whittled down from my book, Writing Dirty Words: The Not-So-Sexy Reality of Making a Living Writing (and the Occasional Crack of a Whip).
1. Is there a difference between porn and erotica … and should I even care?
You say, tomato. I say, Who cares about tomatoes? This is my response to the above question as well. If I am called on the carpet for a definition, I offer that porn feels like take-slot-A-and-fit-it-into-slot-B kind of stuff, where erotica fills in the gaps between those slots.
Maybe. Overall, the difference between porn and erotica, if indeed there is one, is a subjective call.
And, again, who cares?
I have found some publications set specific definitions or even “heat levels” on the dirty stuff they’ll take, or might ask a writer to indicate trigger warnings. But, overall definitions and labels have always scared me. I know I am writing adult material, and I am ever careful to disseminate this stuff only to adults, as best as I am able.
Beyond that, what is what and why it might be when it comes to these naughty words — ya got me, Potsie.
2. How niche-y do you want to get with your naughty words?
Paraphrasing that famous quote from Field Of Dreams, “If you write it, they might indeed come.” And in the case of the naughty niche writer, I mean this, literally.
Erotica, more than most other writing, lends itself to the writer following his or her libido down very detailed rabbit holes, exploring kinks, “getting all niche-y with it,” as the kids say. And although you might indeed find yourself deeply exploring a specific fetish or desire not so much known in the mainstream, I can say, from my experiences, that like old Kevin Kostner, if you write it, there is usually a place for it, no matter how wild or downright specific a sexual expression you might be expressing.
From cross-genre stuff to short fiction for a chastity website to writing blogs for spanking paddles, I have traveled to very specific places with my words, often wondering “Really, who’s gonna read this?” when I find, much to my surprise, many folks who want to.
3. How many revisions can it take?
You probably have gone back over your work, sometimes over and over. But don’t get mucked and mired in rewrites. When it comes to further revisions and rewrites of my erotica, I consider these points:
After repeated floggings (and really, who doesn’t like a flogging from time to time?) if what you have written doesn’t turn you on anymore, you are probably done with it. No amount of extra tweaking is going to make a piece of erotica spark more when you have grown bored with it. Leave it be.
Has whomever you’ve let read your writing responded favorably? Sure, this is a sticky wicket, as in, “Eww, your wicket is all sticky!” But if you trust the person you happen to give your piece to, (or are looking to get them heated up enough to jump you) and they agree it is hot hot hot, take them at their word — go explore their wicket if you two are consenting, but beg off the writing.
4. Where am I going to sell this stuff?
For short erotic fiction, the market is replete with places you can send your writing to. I always recommend slipping a story up on one of many online erotica libraries online (places like Literotica) that take stuff for free. It’s just a good way to get your feet wet in the genre.
Looking to get back a few bucks for your words? There are several websites that post updated writer’s guidelines and anthology calls (Duotrope comes to mind). And, sometimes, you don’t even have to look to erotic-specific publishers or coming sex compilations — lots of places take cross-genre stuff.
As to nonfiction sex writing, there are plenty of places you can blog, review a sex toy, interview an adult star or pen an article. As with fiction, it takes a bit to get yourself established, (It took me a good decade to finally land an iconic national sex magazine) to find and mine the contacts, but the portals and possibilities are out there.
To many people, erotica or nonfiction sex writing might be more than slightly to the left of “legitimate” scribbling — something I argue all the time. If you’re somebody like me who does lots of different kinds of writing but never uses a pseudonym, you might run into some prejudice that might keep you from one type of work because you do another.
In all my years, I have only run into this hindrance only once. Don’t stop doing what you feel you want to because of other people’s views.
As writers, we have a tale to tell. But, you will never know if that tale will be one somebody else will want to read unless you get it out of your fevered little brain. Start writing now — just have the ice cubes handy.
Ralph Greco Jr. is the devilishly clever nom de plume of professional writer and musician Ralph Greco. He is the author of Writing Dirty Words: The Not-So-Sexy Reality of Making a Living Writing (and the Occasional Crack of a Whip), Parisian Phoenix Publishing, 2023. Ralph lives in the wilds of suburban New Jersey and can be reached at ralphiedawriter@gmail.com.
